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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28509561">Two ghosts (rewrite)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babygayness/pseuds/Babygayness'>Babygayness</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EastEnders (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Childhood Sweethearts, Christmas Fluff, Deaf Character, Fluff, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Break Up, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:01:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,226</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28509561</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babygayness/pseuds/Babygayness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben and Callum were childhood sweethearts but when Callum left Ben heartbroken on that train platform to leave for his army training. He never expected to be back in Walford and he never expected to see Ben again. But when Callum got injured with no where else to go he found himself back in Walford staying in the spare room of his brother’s flat and still completely in love with Ben.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Two ghosts (rewrite)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Trigger warning for panic attacks, mentions of the army and injury’s. </p><p>Hi! So uh I wrote a series a while ago called Just let me adore you, and two ghosts were the follow up to this, however, I grew to hate my old writing style, so I’ve rewritten it. It’s a one-shot now, so you do not need to read the previous works to understand what’s going on. I hope it’s all okay! This is the longest one-shot I’ve ever written. Kudos and comments are always welcomed and appreciated. </p><p>Bee 🐝 <br/>Xx</p><p>(This work hasn’t been spelt and grammar checked because I’m lazy)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The nerves in Callum's stomach were twisting uncomfortably as the train rocked back and forth on the track. The cloud were grey as if a storm was approaching, Callum couldn't help but think how it matched his mood. Seven years, seven years he avoided this, he avoided the square, throwing himself into the army working day and night to try and forget him. It was useless though, he was always at the back of Callum's mind for seven years he stayed there completely rent free. Even when Callum was on the front line, facing the uncertainty. He was always there. Ben was always there. </p><p>-seven years earlier-</p><p>"You don't have to do this, you know," Ben whispered softly, the nerves evident in his voice as he grabbed Callum's hand ever so slightly tighter. "We both know the army isn't for you, we can be happy here...we'll run away, get a flat away from the square...maybe Canning Town or something" he became more desperate as he chased the fantasy. Callum couldn't even look Ben in his eyes, he wanted the fantasy too, more than anything. He spent his childhood loving Ben, he grew up loving Ben and wanted to continue growing up with Ben, to get a flat, maybe get married, to have a couple of kids and prove that they could be better than there dads. They both craved it, the chased the dream even though deep down they knew it was just a dream, nothing more than a few daydreams in maths class. </p><p>Callum took a minute, taking a deep breath before looking back at Ben. When his eyes met, Ben's everything fell into place. It was Ben, everything in his life revolved around Ben, and it was selfish of him to expect him always to be his. To sit around and wait for Callum. As much as Callum wanted to spend his life with Ben at that moment he knew he couldn't, it was all just daydreams, Ben wasn't going to sit around like some army wife and even if he did Callum didn't want that life for him. </p><p>"Ben," He sighed softly as he took a minute as his emotions overwhelmed him. The way that Ben looked at him broke his heart. He looked so hopeful. "I'm going to go to the army, and you're going to move on with your life okay?" Callum felt Ben stop and his hand falling from their hold. </p><p>"I'll wait for you," Ben shook his head "I'm not moving anywhere til you're back" Callum felt the lump form in his throat as he tried to stop himself from crying. </p><p>"No, I don't want you to wait for me! I don’t want this anymore!" Callum hated how harsh he sounded, the way the words fell from his lips physically hurt him. "Once I get on that train we're over Ben, completely over, I won't come back to you," He was crying now, the tears burned at his cheeks. "I don't want this anymore,"</p><p>"No no, you don't mean that! You don't! I love you, Callum!" Ben was becoming desperate now. He looked away from Callum as his own tears rolled down his face, when he looked back, he was cold, face harshly as he stared at Callum. "Fine, you know what Callum? You do what you want, I'm over it, and I honestly don't care anymore," Even though deep down Callum knew it wasn't true, that Ben turned to hate as a way off defensive, but the words stabbed him. It ripped his heart apart into a million pieces. His lip quivered as he mentally told himself to pull himself together as he saw his train pull onto the platform. </p><p>"Right," Callum mumbled as he grabbed his bag once again and turned to go onto the platform ticket tightly held in his hand as he felt the familiar loneliness before Ben creep back in. He knew when he steps on the train, he would have no one. His dad and Stuart wouldn't want anything to do with him after everything with Ben, he was once again a scared lonely kid. Before he reached the ticket gate he felt a hand on his with a familiar quick kiss on the cheek as Ben whispered "please stay safe" in his ear before Ben turned and walked away leaving Callum broken hearted on the platform. </p><p>~</p><p>As Callum snapped out of his daydream when he heard the speaker announce his stop, a part of him just wanted to stay put. To avoid everything, but he couldn't, he slowly stood up as he grasped on to the the pole trying to ignore the sharp pain in his side. He walked out of the station, he felt a wave of embarrassment at the way his leg limped ever so slightly, he was one small thing away from sitting on the floor and just crying. Everything overwhelmed him, as he looked around the square, nothing had really changed over the years, the market was still there some were stocked with cheap Christmas decorations, the vic still stood and Dot's laundrette was the same it had been all those years ago. Callum could almost feel the memories wash over him. The memory of him and Ben curled up on the bench in the middle of the night whispering secrets to each other, or the memory of him, Ben, Lola and Jay 'double dating' at the fried chicken shop. It felt like he was back with an old friend, but it wasn't long before the more painful memories flooded in, the memories of having to leave Ben, his dad trying to beat the gay out of him when Stuart told him about Callum and Ben, his break up with Whitney when he was just sixteen after he cheated on her with Ben. He supported himself on the wall as his chest tightened and the bile rose as it became to much, he tried to force the air in his lungs. </p><p>"Alright bruv!" Callum jumped almost hitting his head on the wall as he continued to silently beg his lungs to just breathe normally. </p><p>"Ah alright stu," Callum stood himself up straight grabbing the strap of his bag tightly. </p><p>Callum managed to sneak away from Stuart his grasp still tight on the strap of his bad as he quickly found himself back on the square, he couldn't stand being around Stuart. No one really knew why Callum suddenly came back after spending all his other army leaves in cheap hotel rooms, or his friends sofa or in the bed of a strange man he met earlier that night. This leave wasn't like the others, he never been on medical leave before, there was so much uncertainty in the air but he forced himself not to think about it, to pretend that none of it was happening. Maybe that was why he found himself outside the car lot. He kept in contact with Stuart and everyone else for one reason, to know Ben was okay. He knew that Ben worked here, he also knew that Ben and Lola shared a daughter and that he went to prison but he never asked for the details, it being painful enough without them. He didn't know what possessed him to walk to the door, past all the fancy cars that he was certain weren't legit, he gave himself a moment before he slowly opened the door walking inside. </p><p> </p><p>Ben slowly turned and faced him, and time just froze for Callum, everything blurred apart from Ben. He looked older but his eyes were the same blue, his lips the same red. He was still his Ben, the Ben that haunted his dreams late at night, the same Ben he pictured with every meaningless one nightstand. Callum's heart skipped a beat as he looked at Ben not breaking eye contact. Callum was feeling himself getting lost in those eyes like all those years ago. Them dragging him back, feelings he had forgotten rushing back through him. He felt as if he was sixteen again wanting nothing but the boy that stood opposite to let him love him and to be loved. He held his breath as he watched Ben take a step closer to him, he didn't need words, they never did. He watched as Ben quickly reached his arm out to the desk pushing all the contents on the floor without breaking eye contact, it wasn't perfect, the desk wasn't completely cleared, the odd binder was still sticking out but Callum knew exactly what Ben meant, he dropped his bag and he stepped closer to him leaning in. Ben quickly grabbed his neck and Callum pressed his hand against's Ben's cheek, lips connecting hard as Ben pulled him down with him as he laid down on the desk wrapping his legs around Callum's waist hands still holding onto his neck. They kept kissing as if they were against the clock, it was rough and sloppy but everything Callum wanted, dreamed about for the past few years. Ben's touch burning again his skin, he finally felt alive after feeling numb for months. Then the pain ripped through him, starting in his side before taking over his body completely, he tried to push past it to keep kissing Ben, trying to focus on his white shirt, and the way his hands felt against his skin, the way they kissed but it became too much. </p><p> </p><p>"Ah, Ben! Ben stop" He grumbled as he pulled his lips away resting his forehead against's Bens shutting his eyes as the pain made his legs weak. He couldn't stop the groan of discomfort from falling his lips. He felt Bens hand against his cheek. </p><p>"Callum?" Hearing Ben's voice he couldn't escape the small sob that tumbled from his lip. He pulled away quickly almost doubling over in pain as he reached for bag. </p><p>"I'm sorry, I shouldn't of- I'm gonna go," Callum couldn't feel the shirt stick to his side but he tried to ignore it as he reached for the door. </p><p>"Wait Callum you're bleeding!" Ben grabbed Callum's hand and Callum just stopped as he let Ben press another hand gently against his shirt. "We need to get you to a hospital," Ben's voice was so soft, so caring it broke Callum's heart.</p><p>"No, I got bandages in my bag," Callum felt a wave of guilt as he turned and looked at Ben "I should go,"</p><p>"No let me help you," Ben whispered stroking Callum's cheek with the tip of his fingers as he slowly let Callum to the cheap leather sofa sitting him down. As Callum looked at him it was the first time in years he properly took in the colour of his eyes. They weren't just blue, they were not the colour of the perfect cloudless sky blue, or the colour of the paint flaking off of the old shed in the back garden, or even the little flowers that spring up by the side of the road just after winter. No, his eyes were blue like the sea, crystal clear blue shimmering and crashing against the rocks. When he first saw his eyes all those years ago he was sure he could hear the waves falling against the beach. His eyes were the blue of the sky right before the sun sets, a dark rich blue, with specks of wild colours here and there. His eyes were a blue that was comfortable, warm, familiar. His eyes were that kind of blue. They engulfed Callum, distracting him from the pain in his side.  </p><p>"Let me help yeah?" Ben pulled Callum back, hand on his knee as he looked at Callum as he bit his lip with worry. Callum slowly nodded as he went into his bag pulling out the many packages of bandages the hospital gave him. He told Ben what to do as he lifted his shirt off before he took of the old blood soaked bandaged, he tried not to look, certain he wouldn't be able to handle it if he did, he was right he took once glance at it and he began sobbing. He let Ben take over as he covered his mouth with his hand trying to stop the sobs. Ben didn't say anything as he quietly cleaned Callum up, but Callum could almost see the thoughts and questions racing through Ben's head. </p><p>"Cal," Ben whispered softly as he stroked Callum's cheek with his fingertips trying to get his attention. </p><p>"Hi," Callum whispered back bringing up his hand to Ben's and letting them intertwined.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Ben asked glancing at their joined hands before looking back at Callum as  his own eyes started to fill with eyes. "W-what happened?" </p><p>"I was patrolling and uh, there was this kid and his mum, we tried to get them out, but the bomb went off, we saved the kid, didn't save the mum though..I got off pretty lucky...but Jason lost his legs..he's still in hospital," Callum hadn't told anyone that, not even Stuart, but being with Ben he felt as if he needed to be open, to let Ben keep him safe just for a second. He felt Ben hold his breath as silence consumed them. </p><p>"I knew this would happen," Ben's voice cracked as he gripped onto Callum's hand tighter. "I should of never let you go,"</p><p>"Ben," Callum sighed shaking his head taking a moment to look round stopping when he saw the picture of a little girl, blonde hair with Ben's eyes. "Is that her? Lexi is it?" Callum asked begging for a change in subject not wanting to explain the army or his injury to Ben anymore. </p><p> </p><p>"Yeah-wait you read my letters?!" Ben asked looking up at Callum with hopeful eyes, but when Callum look at him with pure confusion Ben shut himself off. "Yeah, Lexi" Ben stood up while he reached to grab the empty packaging from the bandages. Callum just nodded as he buttoned up his shirt while he watched Ben.</p><p>"I missed you," Callum couldn't help but say it. It was true, he missed Ben with his everything. It was dull ache in his chest, it was like Callum was physically missing a part of himself when hen wasn't there and it didn't go away, even with seven years of not seeing him.</p><p>"Yeah? Why did you break up with me then?" The harshness of Ben wasn't a surprise to Callum. He was use to Ben getting like this whenever he got defensive over something. It gave Callum a slight comfort knowing that Ben hadn't change. That the man stood opposite him was still his Ben.</p><p>"I should go, Stu will be pulling his hair out, well whatever hair he's got left" Callum mumbled trying to be jokey to change the subject but his voice came out broken and small. The regret of coming back to walford hitting him again. </p><p>"Mhm yeah," Ben answered nonchalantly as he pretend to focus on the paper work he just picked up from the floor. Callum stayed for a moment before signing as he headed towards the foot but he stopped, as he looked back at Ben he couldn't stop himself. He quickly grabbed Ben spinning him around as he pressed a quick but meaningful kiss against Ben's lips. He didn't even let Ben respond before he left the car lot. </p><p>Callum just wandered around the square, trying to ignore the pain in his side and the pain in his heart, that was telling him to go back to Ben, as he also tried to avoid his brother and other ancient friends. He knew he was way over due for some painkillers so he slowly made his way back to Stuart's flat a part of him begging that his brother was going to be out, so he could just go straight to the spare room and avoid any awkward conversation, but he was out of luck. As he used the spare key to enter the flat he saw Stuart and his wife Raine sat at the dinner table. Callum's heart dropped painfully. </p><p>"Ah there you are bruv! I wondered where you got to! Ah and this is Raine who I told you all about!" Callum couldn't do anything but smile and nod.</p><p>That's probably how he found himself still sat an hour later, in complete agony desperate for his next round of painkillers, that he was hours late for. He tried to hide it, he didn't want anyone to know what happened in the army. He couldn't relive the memory again, it was painful enough telling Ben. Seeing how Ben reacted broke Callum and he couldn't take telling anyone else or having their pity. So he sat holding a glass of water so tight he was worried it would shatter. </p><p>"Hey Stu...have you got any painkillers? I got a killer headache all that travelling" Callum laughed nervously. His brain was screaming at him, he shouldn't be taking any other painkillers despite the one the hospital prescribed but he just needed anything, even if it was just one poxy paracetamol.  </p><p>"Nah sorry bruv..we don't really have any in the house incase..." Stuart trailed off but Callum noticed the subtle nod towards Raine. Then Callum remembered about Stuart telling him about Raine being in recovery from addiction and it made him not want to tell them about his injury even more, but he couldn't take it. The pain was overwhelming him, he could feel the blood sticking to his shirt and he couldn't take it. </p><p>"Right, well I'm gonna try and sleep it off then," Callum couldn't help the annoyance that dripped from his voice. It took him several moments and tries before he could stand. </p><p>"Callum...are you sure you're alright?" Stuart immediately stood up and it just irritated Callum more. "I can run to shop, the minute mart is still-"</p><p>"I'm fine Stu!" Callum snapped loudly as he grabbed onto the chair doubling over in pain. Stuart and Raine stayed silent as Callum whimpered in pain quietly to himself. He quickly pulled himself together and limped to the spare room leaving Raine and Stuart in silence as he slammed the door shut.</p><p>Callum tried to fall asleep, feeling the exhaustion of the day. The painkillers was finally taking their effects and Stuart and Raine stopped their loud whispering outside his room, so he should of been able to fall asleep. He couldn't. Everything he closes his eyes he saw things he would rather forget. He felt as if he was back there, back hearing the explosions. He couldn't cope. So he got out of bed and pulled and hoodie on and trainers. It was late so he didn't care about changing his tartan pjs bottoms. He just needed some fresh air. He crept out the flat letting the the cold air hit his cheeks. The Christmas lights were tinkling and it brought Callum relief. He loved Christmas as a kid, the excitement of it all. He especially loved Christmas Eve, the buildup and excitement bubbling as him and his mother would lay out the carrot and milk, was something Callum would never forget.  He slowly walked round the square, it was so quiet and peaceful. It was calming to Callum, to have a moment of just pure peace. He walked himself to the bench in the park and sat himself down staring at the stars letting his body relax.</p><p> He sat there for what felt like hours, eyes heavy he could of fallen asleep there. until he saw a hoodie figure walk towards him. He felt a wave of panic as he sat up straight keeping his eyes on the person. </p><p>"Callum?!" It was Ben, he pulled his hood down and Callum felt the wave of relief wash over him and his heart stop pounding as Ben sat next to him.</p><p>"I uh-couldn't sleep so I thought some fresh air would help," Callum murmured as he tugged on the end of his hoodie sleeve. </p><p>"Yeah, same" Ben mumbled back. The awkward silence took over them both. The feeling of hurt and tension between the two of them just grew the longer they sat there.</p><p>"It really hasn't changed here has it?" Callum awkwardly laughed as he turned and faced Ben. </p><p> </p><p>"It really hasn't, have you gone to see Mick and Linda yet?" Ben asked as he looked up to meet Callum's eyes. </p><p>"Nope," Callum shook his head, the memory of how close him and the Carter's were when he was growing up flooded him. The memory of him coming out to Mick and Mick being there to hold his hand and giving him a shoulder to cry on. "I don't feel like I deserve to be back," Callum uttered the secret, "I feel like a real shitty person, like after everything I did, leaving you...abandoning the only family I had..then what happened..with Jason and that woman, I don't deserve to be here," Callum confessed trying to ignore the lump in his throat and the familiar sting of tears in his eyes. </p><p>"Callum," Ben whispered shuffling closer to him as he placed a his hand on top of Callum's. "After everything you've been through, you deserve to be happy, you're not a bad person, you're the kindest, best person I know. You're sweet and you've got a big  heart, you can't keep beating yourself up over things you can't change," Callum looked down at their joined hands feeling the butterflies in his stomach attack him. </p><p>"After everything I did to you...and you're still here picking up my broken pieces," Callum looked back at Ben inching ever so slightly closer. </p><p>"What did you do Callum? You broke up with me...that's it..people have done a lot worst to me..and I've forgiven you a long time ago," Ben mumbled moving closer to Callum. Ben's lips pressed against Callum's distracted him for the lie that slipped from Ben's lips. One hand cupped Ben's cheek and the other grabbed his waist pulling him as close as physically possible as he chased the feeling of having Ben's body pressed against his again. He gently bit down on Ben's lip loving every sound that tumbled from Ben, sounds that he spent the last seven years craving.</p><p>After, Callum sat on the uncomfortable wooden planks of the picnic table watching Ben pull his clothes back on completely memorised. His heart hadn't stopped racing and his skin still burned in the best way from Ben's touch. He gently traced the marks that Ben had placed in his neck unable to hide the smile that crept on his face.</p><p>"I will say, I am a massive fan of those pyjama's..the tartan is just..perfect..you're just perfect," Ben chuckled as he bent down and kissed Callum once again. He seemed so much more carefree than he did a few hours before and it made Callum feel a sense of happiness, one he thought he lost seven years ago.</p><p>"I've missed that," He murmured against Ben's lips still unable to hide the smile that hadn't left him. </p><p>"What sex? You didn't get any in the army then solider boy?" Ben pulled away grinning at Callum, his eyes twinkling.</p><p>"'No-well yeah of course I did...I meant with you," Callum confessed the blush burning at his cheeks as he did. "I had a lot of sex in the army I have you know," Callum teased.</p><p>"Of course you did, all that pent up testosterone" Ben laughed before smiling so softly, so gently. "I've missed it too, now let me walk you home yeah?" Callum couldn't help but notice the small flash of vulnerability that glazed over Ben's bright eyes. Callum went to bed that night his skin still burning from Ben's touch with his number in his phone. </p><p> </p><p>When Callum finally dragged himself to the shower the next morning after a restless night sleep, he let water pour over him, as his mind faded into dullness and everything turned into a foggy illusion the worries of everything just drifted away from him. The sensation of the steamy water made him feel calm; it took his mind off things. Things like the grief he was feeling, like the uncertainty of his future and things like Ben. He just focused on the water. His thoughts were numbing like he was standing under an everlasting waterfall. Ever so beautiful, ever so calm, peaceful even but it would never last, not when the thoughts of Ben's vulnerable blue eyes came creeping back in and once they were back in Callum couldn't stop thinking about them. He then couldn't stop thinking about the feeling of Ben's touch on his skin and how he craved it more than he ever had. The water started to turn cold, and Callum knew he had to get out, but he couldn't. He wanted to stay, he wanted the water to burn the thoughts from his mind, but at the same time, he wanted to keep those thoughts. </p><p>Callum had made himself a little the plan after it he got out the shower. He was going to see Mick and Linda, hopefully avoid Stuart and maybe go on a walk that focused walking pass the car lot of the Archers in the hope of seeing Ben. Deep down he knew it was a bad idea, after everything they went through they couldn't magically start things up again. There was things that Ben didn't know about Callum and vice versa. It didn't stop Callum craving it. It's been on his mind for most of the night and morning. The feeling of Ben's skin against his still burned and he craved more of it. He craved falling in love with Ben all over again.</p><p>Callum kept thinking about it. Even walking into the pub he was saw as a second home. Ben was still on his mind, he tried to ignore it and pushed the thought away as he walked up to the bar. He spent his childhood running here whenever things got too much, like when his dad would stumble in to the flat drunk at only four in the afternoon, or when he met Ben and got so overwhelmed with his feelings he broke up with Whitney, or when his dad kicked out for being in love with another boy. Mick and Linda were always there with a glass of strawberry milk and a shoulder to cry on. </p><p>"I don't believe my eyes!" Mick shouted across the bar almost making Callum jump out his skin. "Alright my son!" Callum didn't even need to ask before a pint was put in front of him. </p><p>"Thanks Mick," Callum smiled as he sat himself on one of the bar stool "Linda and Lee about?" He asked as he took a sip of the cold beer, the coolness soothing the ache in his side. </p><p>"Linda has gone to pick Ollie up and Lee's gone out for lunch with Whitney wedding planning" Callum nodded smiling along but he couldn't help but feel like a stranger in a place he once saw as a home. "Tracey you mind covering the bar for half hour?" </p><p>Callum tried not to focus on the obvious limp he had when he walked over to the booth with Mick, it felt as if all eyes were on him. He quickly threw himself down on the cushioned sit and took another sip of his pint. </p><p>"Here get these down ya lad," Mick laughed throwing a packet of salt of vinegar crisp on the table in front of him. "What are you doing back then? I thought Lee said you didn't have leave for a few more months?" </p><p> </p><p>"I'm just on leave, I probably got the dates mixed up you know what I'm like" Callum laughed through the lie as his heart pounded against his chest. They sat talking for way over half an hour. Mick told Callum stories of Ollie and how Nancy has moved away, they laughed about everything and for the first time in years Callum felt the warm feeling of home. </p><p>"I don't believe my eyes!" Linda shrieked as she walked into the pub immediately running over to the booth. Callum was engulfed in the warm hug she pulled him into. "Oh I'm so glad you're back!" She said as she pressed a sloppy kiss on Callum's cheek.   </p><p> Callum definitely had one to many pints sat talking to Mick and Linda, his head was spinning the smart part of his brain was screaming the "do not mix with alcohol" label on his painkillers while his over part his brain screamed at him about Ben. He felt exhausted as well. </p><p>"Right halfway we better leave you too...but if you're brother gets too much we've got a sofa bed you're always welcome here!" Mick smiled as he stood up putting a firm hand on Callum's shoulder. </p><p>"Have you seen Ben yet?" Linda asked with a gentle sympathetic smile as she took Callum's hand. Callum couldn't help but dip his head as he smiled to himself as the memory of the night before flashed before his eyes. His cheeks were glowing a bright pink as he thought about it more. </p><p>"Alright lad spare us the gory details" Mick laughed as he made his way back to the bar. </p><p>Callum dragged himself out the pub trying to walk in a straight line to convince himself that there wasn't alcohol drowning in his bloodstream. He dragged himself halfway across the square back to Stuart's flat, the alcohol, the pain from his side and the lack of sleep he got the night before exhausted him. His eyes get heavy. He was starting to forget about Ben and was just focusing on getting himself into bed and letting himself sleep like his body was screaming at him to do. Once he got into the spare room of the flat he quickly pulled off his shirt and jeans leaving them on the floor as he got into bed. He changed the dressing on his wound not doing a half as good a job as Ben did. </p><p>Callum curled into the pillow more when he heard the soft bangs at his door that pulled him from his sleep. He kept his eyes shut refusing to acknowledge the sound as he still continued to try and chase the sleep. </p><p>"Callum, bruv?" Callum groaned when he heard Stuart's voice. </p><p>"What time is it?" He asked as he sat up trying to rub the leftover sleep out his eyes. </p><p>"10" Stuart mumbled as he continued to stare at Callum. Callum felt the dull ache in his head as he tried to familiar himself with his surroundings.</p><p>"At night?" Callum asked as he pulled himself out of bed going to grab his t-shirt. </p><p>"Nah morning, you slept for like twenty hours," Stuart laughed awkwardly "What's that?" Callum looked up to Stuart and realised he was pointing to his side. Panicked rushed through Callum as he quickly pulled on a t-shirt.<br/>"Are you hurt? Callum?" Callum tried to ignore him but he couldn't. He could feel the upset building up. The panic tighten in his chest as the flashback hit him before he could even react. He fell to the floor sobs coming from his chest as the flashback over took him. He no longer knew where he where he was the world blurred at the edges. He felt Stuart beside him pulling himself back slightly. </p><p>"Please," Callum could just about whimper out as he clutched onto Stuart burying himself as the panic attack subsided. He stayed holding Stuart tightly as he finally came back to earth looking around he slowly pulled away. "Sorry," he coughed awkwardly. </p><p>"I haven't seen you have a panic attack that bad before, you use to get them when dad got drunk remember?" Stuart didn't budge, he stayed sat watching Callum carefully. </p><p>"I got hurt..by a some shrapnel from a landmine" Callum mumbled as he pulled some frayed thread from the carpet. "They don't think I'll ever be going back to the army...dad was right...I'm failure," Callum laughed bitterly  as the tears rolled down his cheek. "I'm just that gay son that couldn't even get the army right," </p><p>"You're not a failure..you're a hero you got hurt in the line of duty-"</p><p>"I'm not a hero!" Callum shouted as his chest began to rise and all rapidly again "I'm not Stu, I'm not," Before Callum could say anything else he was pulled into another hug. </p><p>Eventually, after Callum calmed himself down he needed fresh air. His body felt a buzz of nervous energy after sleeping for so long and the panic attack he experienced this morning, he needed to get out. He got himself dress and wondered out the flat. The only problem was, he had no where to go, he should probably get himself down to the job centre to see if he could find another job once his injury had healed but he didn't want to. He didn't want to think about his future so instead he just walked round the square. That's when he saw him. He felt his heart skip a beat when he saw Ben. He couldn't help himself, he found himself walking after him. </p><p>"Ben!" Callum shouted before he immediately cringed at himself at how desperate he must of sounded. He cringed even more when Ben didn't respond but it didn't stop him from gently tapping on Ben's shoulder. "Ben?" </p><p>"Huh?" Ben looked at Callum in confusion. He brought his hand up to his ear and pulled out his hearing aid "sorry, hearing aid is on the brink I reckon," Ben laughed as he continued to fiddle with it before putting it back in his ear. "fucking useless thing," Ben muttered before he pulled the small device back out putting it in his pocket. Callum watched him for a moment before he came up with an idea. </p><p>"Fancy a coffee?" He spoke slowly as he signed the words in time. He was rusty on his sign only ever learning it for Ben when they were just sixteen. "My treat" he signed. </p><p>"Go on then" Ben laughed as he half heartedly signed back, his eyes lighting up when they made contact with Callum's. </p><p>Callum placed a cup in front of Ben along with an iced bun before sitting opposite him. He couldn't take his eyes off Ben. He felt like he was dreaming being back in Kathy's cafe with Ben being sat opposite.</p><p>"Your mum not working today?" He asked as he tried to talk as clearly as he could so Ben could lipread. He became use to Ben's hearing aid malfunctions or whenever Ben would get in a fight in school and they would take his hearing aid and punch him in 'his good ear'.</p><p>"Nah, kinda glad she's not she would be all over you wouldn't she?" Ben laughed as he took a bite out the bun. "How's your side?" He asked mouth full as he pointed to where Callum was bandaged. </p><p>"Getting there" Callum shrugged as he took a sip of the hot chocolate the taste bringing back fond memories of him and Ben being late to school because they stopped here for a hot chocolate and an iced bun. "I had a panic attack in front of Stu this morning" he laughed awkwardly as he looked back up at Ben. </p><p>"I bet he was as useful as a chocolate tea pot!" Ben laughed as he took a sip of his own drink, "you still get them then?"</p><p>"you still can't hear then?" Callum teased before he slowly nodded "they got worse since I got hurt," He confessed as he looked down the shame washing over him. </p><p>"It's my hearing that's on the brink...not my hearing aid," Ben confessed as he tried to bring some sense of comfort to Callum. "Gotta go get more tests after Christmas to see if they can sort it," Ben shrugged. Before Callum could respond he heard the shriek of daddy and saw a small blonde girl run towards Ben. </p><p>"Hello princess!!" Ben grinned as he swooped up the young girl that Callum assumed was Lexi. </p><p>"If I had ovaries they'd be melting," Callum mumbled jokingly before he sipped his coffee smiling when he got a small laugh from Ben. But as he continued to watch them, something shifted in him. Ben had his own life. He wasn't the same person Callum knew, he had a daughter, he could have a boyfriend for all Callum knew. The cafe seemed to get smaller the more he thought about it, he had been so stupid. He couldn't take it anymore he mumbled a quick excuse about painkillers before quickly getting up as he cringed at the sound the chair made scraping against the floor before he rushed out the door not looking back. He needed to cut off everything with Ben, he couldn't let Ben get hurt again. </p><p>Callum avoided Ben for a week, he rarely left his room at the flat. He would lie in bed letting the overwhelming sense of loneliness crush him. It would take his heart and twist it, stomp on it and tear it apart. No one ever talked about this part of the army, the loneliness was such a big part of it. There was never any time to make friends on leave and the friends you had over there you could never get too attached because the next day they could end up dead. Callum couldn't help but think back to Chris and too Jason who apparently was still in hospital but was doing well. The panic attacks became more frequent over the week. He couldn't handle it anymore. So he pulled himself together and got dressed and slowly walked outside letting the fresh air bring some sort of relief to him. The only problem is he didn't know where to go. The cold December wind was nipping at his nose and it reminded him that Christmas was only a few days away, he thought about going into town to get Stuart and Raine a present but the thought of the crowds of shoppers swarming to get their last minute Christmas gifts put him off, so he decided to walk round the market. </p><p>It wasn't long before Callum found a few things that he could pass for Christmas gifts, he got Raine a nice, cheap, robe and he got Stuart a jumper. It wasn't much but after so many years of not really seeing his brother or only just meeting his wife he didn't know what else to get them. </p><p>"Callum Highway!" Callum turned and couldn't help but smile when he saw Lola practically jogging towards him. He pulled her into a hug. It felt weird, going so long without seeing his best friend and now knowing that she had a baby with his ex-boyfriend. Him and Lola use to do everything together, he would ditch Ben and she would ditch Jay and they would go out shopping, or just sit in Costa gossiping about anyone they could. </p><p>"You alright?" He asked with a genuine smile as he pulled away. She looked the same, the same bright blonde hair and a even brighter fashion sense. </p><p>"I heard rumours you were back but I thought they were wrong because I knew if you were you would of come and saw me," Lola teased as she nudged him with her elbow. </p><p>"Yeah sorry just been busy and that, I was planning on seeing you though," He stuttered through the lie. He couldn't face going to see her because when he abandoned Ben he always abandoned Lola. "You Christmas shopping?" He asked trying to quickly change the subject as he felt a lump form in his throat. </p><p>"Yeah, Lexi's list to Santa is as long as my arm!" She laughed before she abruptly stopped looking up at Callum with a slightly nervous expression "you know about Lexi right?" </p><p>"Yeah yeah I actually uh saw her the other day with Ben, she's a right sweetheart" He thought back to that day and how quickly he left Ben, how it was the last time he saw Ben and how desperate he was too see Ben again. </p><p>"The day you rushed out the Cafe according to Kathy?" Lola raised her eyebrows as Callum had a wave of guilt wash over him as he couldn't even remember seeing Kathy. </p><p>"I just saw her and Ben together and I just felt like it was selfish of me to come back and be the way I was with Ben," Callum confessed as he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. The thing with Lola is that no matter how hard Callum tried he could never keep his emotions to himself with her. She would look at him in a certain way and it would all come pouring back. Lola smiled sympathetically at him.</p><p>"You fancy coming round for a proper catch up and a catch up? I wanna hear about all of your fit solider mates,". </p><p> </p><p>As Callum looked when round the Beale's he couldn't help but smile, nothing had changed, it brought back so many memories, especially the last few weeks of their relationship, when Phil kicked Ben out and Jonno kicked Callum out after Stuart told everyone about seeing them together they found a safe space here with Kathy and Ian. They spent their days curled up together spending every second of their time together before Callum left for the army. There was one photo that stood out to Callum against the dozen photos that sat neatly on the dressing was of him. And Ben. At their going away party just days before they left for the army. He couldn't help himself he had to pick it up, he held it in his hands as the tears began to sting.</p><p>~<br/>The music was loud, the vibrations throbbing in Callum's chest. He was sat staring at the banner the read "we'll miss you, Callum and Lee!" It was messy handwriting having been handmade by Lola and Whitney, but it's was still better than what he could do. Straighter than him too. God he couldn't even think straight, excuse the pun, the alcohol clouding over everything. He felt numb as he waited for Ben to return from getting a drink. It made him laugh that they still have talked about the fact he was leaving in two days to go to the army but then again the alcohol was making him laugh at everything that night. He sipped his drink as he glanced around one more time letting the cheap vodka burn at his throat. Just wanting to continue to feel numb. </p><p> </p><p>"Cal! Callum!" Ben grinned drunkenly at him as he made himself comfortable on Callum's lap arm wrapped around his neck. Sloppy kisses were left on Callum's ear, cheek, jaw, neck. "I got a drink" Ben whispered before pulling away slightly. He stayed quiet. Just looking so intensely into Callum's eyes and Callum couldn't help but to look back. Ben's eyes sparkled like storm clouds right before lightning hit. The clouds of grey and blue dancing together, waiting for the storm, waiting for the raindrops of emotion to drench them, the problem was Ben cared far too much for Callum and Callum cared far too much for Ben. </p><p> </p><p>"Gay" Ben mumbled jokingly, Callum got drawn in when he started to smile the way his lips lifted upward. The way his eyes smiled with them. His smile was a warm glow of happiness. His smile was the sun, and Callum was getting sunburned as he smiled back. </p><p> </p><p>"You two are too cute" Lola grinned but the didn't break eye contact or smiles not even when they heard the shutter of Lola's camera. </p><p>~</p><p>"Alright lo? Oh Callum hi?" Callum immediately turned round almost dropping the photo when he saw Ben. Ben looked at Callum confusion on his face when he saw how upset Callum was but then he looked down at frame that Callum had in his hand. </p><p>"Oh Ben! Sorry I didn't think you would be back from work so early...me and Callum were just having a catch up..fancy a cuppa??" Lola popped her head round the door. </p><p>"Yea go on lo" Ben asked giving her a small smile watching her go back into the kitchen before he turned his focus back on Callum. "Lola printed the photo off before she knew we broke up...I never had the heart to take it down" Ben's muttered as he took the frame off of Callum putting it back on the side. Callum could immediately tell that Ben was off with him. The awkwardness was heavy between them as they looked at each other. </p><p>"It's a nice photo" Callum mumbled as he shifted his feet uncomfortably. </p><p>"I tried texting you, you just disappeared for a week, I don't know why I'm so surprised..we both know you like disappearing," Ben jabbed and it took Callum a minute to process it as the words rang in his ears. </p><p>"I didn't want to get in between you and Lexi" Callum confessed with a broken voice. Ben's face softened and just as he was about to take a step forward Lola tumbled in trying to balance three mugs and a packet of biscuits.</p><p>The three of them sat and talked about anything and everything, the talked about childhood memories and Lola and Ben gushed over Lexi. Callum felt the sense of family he always had with them and Jay growing up. He almost felt heartbroken when Ben and Lola had to leave to go collect Lexi from Billy. There was one thing playing on Callum's mind. Something Lola joked. </p><p>"Ben do you remember writing all those letters for Callum after he left? proper little army wife you were," It was the second time letters were mentioned. Over the next few days he couldn't stop thinking about it. It got so bad couldn't handle it so on Christmas Eve morning he pulled out his phone and dialled Lola's number. </p><p>"Callum? You alright?" Lola sounded groggy and Callum panicked slightly that he had woke her up.</p><p>"The letters, you said Ben wrote letters, did he ever send them?" he asked, it was frantic the way the words rushed out his mouth. </p><p>"I think he gave them to Stuart to send to you," Lola asked confusion clear in her tone. Everything clicked for Callum then. Stuart never sent them, there was a chance they were still in the felt somewhere. He mumbled a quick thank you to Lola as he hung up before she could respond. He needed to find them. </p><p>Callum frantically pulled the flat apart, his heart was beating so hard against his chest, that's when he found them. They were hidden in the wardrobe, in a old beaten shoe box. Dozens of letters, all addressed to Callum. He almost felt sick as he picked them up tearing the first one open. </p><p>Callum, <br/>I miss you, I think about you everyday. I wish you never went, I wish you were by my side but I hope you're safe, I know you wanted to end things but I don't think I can do that, so I'll keep waiting, keep writing in the hope I'll have you back one day. I love you, please say safe. </p><p>Your Ben, always. </p><p>Callum could barely read the messy handwriting as the tears stung at his eyes. He couldn't help himself he grabbed the second envelope. </p><p>Callum, </p><p>I really messed up, I really need you here. Your brother won't even tell me where you are but wherever you are I should be there with you. I don't want to tell you this in some poxy letter but I don't know how to get hold on you, but I really need you. Please write me back. Please don't forget me. </p><p>Your Ben, always. </p><p>There were dozens like that, Ben pouring his heart and soul in these letters so Callum spent the next couple hours reading every single one. There was letters about Lexi being born, about prison, random things like how pretty Ben found the sky one day and the one that broke his heart was the last one. </p><p>Callum, <br/>I get it, you don't want me so you probably don't want me writing you these letters anymore. I stupidly thought maybe you write back, stupidly held on hope. <br/>Stay safe, <br/>Ben. </p><p>Callum couldn't help but notice that it was the only letter Ben didn't finish with 'your Ben,' Callum couldn't stop the sobs tumbling, he clutched the letter to his chest as he let himself cry. Then it hit him, he needed to see Ben. He needed to see him now. He picked himself up and almost ran across the square. He banged on the door as loud as he could constantly until Ben answered it. </p><p>"Callum? Wait Callum's what wrong?" Ben asked softly pulling the door open as a way to invite him in but Callum just shook his head.</p><p>"I just wanted to see you," Callum whispered softly, scrubbing his eyes dry. He didn't want to tell Ben about the letters, he just wanted to see Ben. To pretend they never existed, that he didn't let Ben down. </p><p>"Yeah of course, fancy an iced bun?" Ben asked as he grabbed his keys before he shut the door behind him.</p><p>"Always,"</p><p>That's how Callum found himself huddled up in the spare room of Stuart's flat. Ben next to him with small kisses pressed to his neck, nothing but the thin duvet covering them. It was just them, in their bubble. </p><p>"I better go sort Lexi's presents out in a minute," Ben whispered against the skin of Callum's neck "gotta get the milk and mince pie ready for Father Christmas," </p><p>"And the carrot don't forget the carrot," Callum mumbled tiredly into the pillow "don't want Rudolph starving to death," But before Ben could respond Callum hear the familiar sound of the flat door opening and closing and the sound of keys hitting the coffee table. Callum shot up, the anxiety raced through him. </p><p>"Shit that's Stuart" Callum muttered to Ben as he quickly left the bed, he grabbed his clothes that were scattered across the floor, he pulled them onto his body ignoring the looks he was getting from Ben. </p><p>"You seem very bothered about uncle fester, he doesn't believe you've turned straight does he?" Ben muttered as he followed Callum and got dressed. </p><p>"I just don't want him getting upset seeing you here" Callum snapped as he frantically tried to put his hair back into place. </p><p>"Seeing me here? What's that meant to mean?" Ben chuckled, the bitterness stinging Callum's ears "what if I'm upset seeing him? He's the one that took you away from me!" </p><p>"Not now Ben!" Callum snapped back, how harsh his voice sounded to his own ears surprised him. </p><p>"You're really doing this again?! You're really doing this Callum?! Right I can see where your priorities lie and it's not with me!" Before Callum could stay anything Ben stormed off so Callum quickly rushed past Stuart ignoring everything his brother was saying to him. </p><p>"Ben wait!" Callum shouted across the square as he tried to keep up with him the rain pelting hard against him.</p><p>"Wait?? I waited years Callum!" Ben shouted as he stopped and turned looking at Callum. "I waited seven years, you don't get to do this! You don't get to act like I was nothing!" The rain was coming down harder but neither of them moved, they just stood getting absolutely soaked looking at each other. "You know I use to go round your brothers, use to beg him to tell me if you were okay, because you left and I didn't know if you were alive or dead, I use to bang on his door begging for him to just let me know you weren't coming home in a coffin, three years I did that before he stopped answering the door! You know what else?! When gay marriage was legalised I should of been out celebrating like every gay was but I was crying wishing it would mean I would get to marry the love of my life, but I couldn't because you left! You left and acted like I was nothing " </p><p>"Ben-" They were both crying as the rain and wind left them both cold. </p><p>"No! No Callum!" Ben shouted his voice breaking and cracking "I sent you letters! You didn't respond to one! I waited for you, but you cut me off like I was nothing! I still don't mean anything to you because once again you're tossing me to the side!" Ben went to turn and walk away again, but Callum couldn't let him. He couldn't let him leave once again. </p><p>"Ben will you just-"</p><p>"Just what Callum?!" Ben stopped once again, eyes red and cheek tear stained as he looked at Callum. "You don't get to do this to me again! You don't! I won't let you hurt me again!" Ben cried, Callum never saw him look so broken, so lost, so vulnerable. "For seven years I felt lost without you! Then you came back and I thought- I stupidly thought you would stay, that you wouldn't break me again...I was wrong" Ben sighed he wasn't even trying to stop himself from crying, letting the tears sting at his cold cheeks.  "I've gotta go sort Lexi's presents out...can't let the reindeer starve" Ben mumbled sarcastically before he turned to leave again. </p><p>"Don't go," Callum whispered broken as he looked at Ben, they were both soaked, both exhausted. </p><p>"Funny, I remember saying the same thing to you, look how that turned out" Ben mumbled so softly as he wiped his cheeks harshly with the back of his sleeve. Callum quickly went into his back pocket and dug out the picture. </p><p>"You think you mean nothing to me? I use to carry this around when I went out on patrol, it wasn't often I was mostly in the kitchen but I use to keep it in my pocket, when the explosion happened, and I got hit by the shrapnel and Jason lost his legs, I just remember lying there and I held it, I held it so tightly, it why it's so crumbled, I just wanted to come back to you I've always wanted to come back to you Ben," Callum looked at the photo, it was torn and crumpled but it was Ben. It was Ben smiling at the camera with a goofy smile, a photo Callum took when they were being kids messing about in his room.  "I never didn't think of you Ben, there was never a day where I didn't wish I stayed with you, that we got that flat in Canning Town, I didn't break up with you because you mean nothing to me! I broke up with you because you meant everything to me and I didn't want to break you! I didn't want you sat around as some army wife, I love you so much I couldn't stand doing that to you, I know seven years is a long time, but I never stopped loving you, never stopped wanting you" Callum confessed quietly to Ben as the rain slowly began to subside. Ben took a deep breath as Callum's heart pounded against his chest nervously, it felt like time went still as he waited for Ben to say something, to say anything. He didn't, instead he took a step closer to Callum, fingertips reaching for his cheek as Callum's breath hitched before Ben pressed his lips against his. The kiss was soft, not one of lust or passion, just love. Callum brought his hands up to Ben's neck pulling him closer as he deepened the kiss. </p><p>"I love you," Ben whispered so softly against Callum's lips before pulling away ever so slightly. "I'm sorry, I'm just, since you left I'm just this selfish sad person," Ben mumbled as he kept his hand on Callum's cheek wiping the tears with the pad of his thumb. "I didn't want to lose you again, like I did before, I don't want you getting hurt again" Ben breathed out as he rested his head against Callum's tears rolling down his cheek once again.</p><p>When Callum finally let Ben go after what felt like a million kisses and confessions of love so he could sort out Lexi and spend Christmas Eve with her, Callum couldn't stop thinking about him. He felt on cloud nine, as he was floating after being grounded for years by worry and regret. When he woke up on Christmas morning the feeling of floating continued. Especially when he was sat with Stuart and Raine opening presents when he got the text. </p><p>Come round for Christmas dinner around 4, love you.<br/>Your Ben x</p><p>Callum began counting down the hours, he couldn't sit still he felt the same as he did when he was fifteen and Ben asked him on a date for the first time. When the clock finally hit four he rushed out the door excitement bubbling in his stomach. When he reached the door he had to take a minute as the worry came in again. When he finally gained the courage to knock on the door and when Ben answered all the worry faded away. When Ben smiled at every bad thought got taken away. </p><p>“Hi! Merry Christmas!” Ben grinned before he pulled Callum into a quick kiss knocking the air from his lungs. </p><p> </p><p>“Merry Christmas Ben,” Callum whispered so delicately against Ben’s lips. Ben pulled away smiling at Callum with such awe it made Callum’s flutter. He took Callum’s hand and dragged him only the living room while Callum laughed carefree. When the entered the Beale’s living room he couldn’t help but feel like a stranger he shouldn’t, Kathy was there with Lola, Jay and an excited Lexi but with the likes of Phil with Sharon and Ian Beale staring at him he felt the anxiety bubble in his stomach. </p><p>“Oh Cal look how tall you’ve got!” Kathy gushed over him pulling him into a hug “seven years is too long mister,” she teased as she pulled away pinching his cheeks. </p><p>“Mum leave him be!” Ben whined as he took Callum’s hand again “you fancy a drink babe?” Ben whispered in his ear and everything felt so strange, so dreamlike. Everything  Callum had fantasied about had come true. </p><p>“I’ll get you a drink uncle Callum!” Lexi squealed as she jumped off of Jay’s lap running to the kitchen.</p><p>“Sorry Ben talks about you a lot she acts like she knows you,” Lola laughed as she quickly followed her into the kitchen. </p><p>Callum found himself that evening sat on the sofa Ben curled into one side of him Lexi sat the other side of him. He felt the buzz of one too many bailey’s and the happiness of being around family. Lola was right about Lexi, she acted like she knew Callum all her life, every time she mentioned something about Callum Ben would immediately blush. It made Callum blush how much Ben must of talked about him. Callum made small conversation with Phil, mostly about the football knowledge he had from Stuart. It felt so homely. </p><p>“I got something to give you” Ben whispered as he pulled away from Callum going under the Christmas tree and pulling out a box. </p><p>“I didn’t get you anything,” Callum felt ashamed of him self but Ben quickly shut it off with a kiss. </p><p>“It’s fine..you can make it up to me later,” Ben whispered in his ear before kissing his cheek. He passed the box to Callum and Callum held it with such care as he could as he opened it up. There was seven different size presents, all wrapped in different wrapping paper. “I uh...I got you a present every year you were away, in case you ever came back I wanted to he prepared” Ben shyly mumbled as he fiddled with his hands nervously watching Callum. Callum felt the tears roll down his cheek before he could stop them. “I always use to worry I would never be able to give them to you but now I can and I’m just so glad you’re here,” </p><p>“I love you,” Callum turned and kissed Ben so softly trying to stop the sob that was building up. </p><p>“I love you too, I’ll always be here for you,” Ben promised and he kept his promise. He was there for Callum on New Years Eve when the fireworks put Callum in a panic attack, he was there when Callum got officially signed off of the army. Callum was there for Ben too, when Ben deafness got worse he held his hand at all the appointments, he was there when Ben had his cochlear implant, he was there as Ben had to relearn how to hear. Callum was also there the night before their wedding when the nerves got the better of Ben. They were there for each other, always and forever.</p>
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